8 Strategies for Supporting Clients through the Stages of Grief

Grief is a natural response to loss. Loss can include death, abandonment, separation, illness or injury or other significant life events. Loss and feelings of grief can come with sadness, anger, confusion, fear and other emotions — and any combination of these. As you likely know, grief doesn’t look the same for everyone. However, it is something everyone goes through at some point in their lives. As clinicians, understanding grief and how to support clients during this time can be key to the healing process.

What is grief?

Grief is the way people process and adjust to loss and other significant challenges. It can affect people emotionally, physically and mentally. People may feel sadness, shock, anger, guilt, or even relief, depending on the situation. Some might express these emotions openly, while others may hold their emotions inside. There’s no one “right” way to grieve.

The stages of grief

While everyone experiences grief differently, there are five common stages people may go through. These stages, introduced by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, can help clinicians understand the emotions involved:

1. Denial: At first, people may have trouble believing the loss is real. They might feel numb or think, This can’t be happening.
2. Anger: It’s normal to feel frustrated or even angry about the loss. Clients might direct their anger at others, themselves or even the person they have lost. 
3. Bargaining: People might think about ways they could have prevented the loss. They might say things like, “If only I had done something differently.”
4. Depression: Sadness often sets in as the reality of the loss becomes clearer. Clients might feel overwhelmed, tired or unable to focus.
5. Acceptance: Over time, people learn to live with their loss. It doesn’t mean they forget or stop feeling sad, but they begin to find a way forward.

It’s important to note that not everyone goes through these stages in order, and some stages might not happen at all. Each stage may resurface periodically throughout a person’s life. Grief is personal and unique to each person.

Strategies clinicians can use to help

Supporting clients through grief takes patience, empathy and understanding. Here are some ways you can support your clients:

1. Listen without judgment: Give clients the space to share their feelings. Let them talk about their loss in their own way and time.
2. Acknowledge and normalize their feelings: Remind clients that it’s okay to feel a wide range of emotions. Grief doesn’t follow a strict timeline, and it’s common to feel “up and down” throughout the process.
3. Use trauma-sensitive approaches: Often, grief can have long-lasting a traumatic impact on clients. Understanding and implementing trauma-sensitive approaches can help create a safe space for clients to process and heal.
4. Provide education: Explain the stages of grief and what they might expect. Understanding that their feelings are part of a process can help clients feel less alone.
5. Encourage healthy coping: Suggest activities that might help, like journaling, exercising or spending time with supportive friends and family. Mindfulness techniques, like deep breathing, can also help clients manage overwhelming emotions.
6. Watch for complicated grief: If a client feels stuck in their grief or shows signs of severe depression, anxiety or withdrawal, it might be time to consider additional support in their care team, like a counselor or therapist who specialize in grief.
7. Be patient: Healing takes time. Encourage clients to be compassionate toward themselves as they navigate their feelings.
8. Use cultural humility: Different cultures often grieve differently. This may include rituals, ceremonies, communal support or expressions of emotion. You might take some time to learn about the cultural background of your clients in order to best understand what the grieving process may look like for them.

Grief can be complex and painful, but with the right support, clients can work through it and find hope again. As a clinician, you have the privilege of walking alongside them during some of their toughest moments. By listening, validating their feelings and providing tools for coping, you can make a meaningful difference in their healing journey.

Helping clients find hope again with Dr. William R. Miller →

Remember to care for yourself too, in addition to caring for your clients. Providing grief support can take an emotional, mental and physical toll on clinicians. By caring for yourself, you can focus on your own health, reduce your risk of burnout and ensure you’re at your best to care for your clients, too.

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