September is National Recovery Month, an annual observance to educate the public, celebrate individuals in long-term recovery, and support evidence-based treatment for mental health and substance use disorders.
So for this Recovery Month, I am sharing a few of my favorite 12-Step recovery slogans and sayings from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and why they are so meaningful to me.
AA slogan 1: “Attraction, not promotion”
To those looking on, it is so easy to see the destruction that addiction causes to people’s physical, mental, social and spiritual well-being. The impulse to jump in and nag, argue and push the friend or loved one into treatment is understandably strong.
But that kind of active promotion of treatment usually is met with pushback, arguments, alienation and separation. The identified person with addiction is often deep in the self-protective defense mechanism of denial. The more you push, the more they recoil. That’s where the wisdom of “Attraction, not promotion” comes in:
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I have seen over and over patients who are reluctant to accept that they suffer from addiction but agree to attend an AA meeting.
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They happen to hear a speaker who tells “their” story; they relate and identify so much that it brings awareness that they are not alone and that someone really understands them.
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In that moment, even if temporarily, they experience relief and hope… the beginning of attraction to accept the need for treatment and recovery.
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All the cajoling, shaming, nagging and threats do not promote recovery.
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Seeing changed lives and inspiring stories of hope attracts people into recovery.
AA slogan 2: “Progress, not perfection”
Once a person has been attracted into considering treatment, there is relief for the loved ones accompanied by impatience to see some progress after such a long time of pain and suffering. While that is understandable, you can’t “push the river” – recovery is a process, not an event.
The process of recovery is where “Progress, not perfection” comes in:
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Many people with addiction are not ready to commit to abstinence, let alone change their drinking/drugging friends, avoid parties and drinking places, and change their lifestyle.
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But “being willing to be willing” is progress. Agreeing to go to one AA meeting, to cut back from five drinks a day to four, or to stay away from one particularly heavy drugging friend is progress.
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Expecting someone to give up all their drinking friends is perfection thinking. Demanding abstinence for someone in the Contemplation (ambivalence) stage of change; or discharging or sanctioning someone for a slip or lapse is perfection thinking.
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We would never sanction someone with bipolar disorder for having a manic attack, or a person with diabetes for a high blood sugar. We never expect perfection for people with other ongoing illnesses, yet we often demand and expect perfection in addiction treatment.
AA slogan 3: “There but for the grace of God go I”
Recovery can be a tricky thing. The longer a person achieves some abstinence and even sobriety, the more sneaky “stinking thinking” that AA talks about can rear its ugly head. People affected by addiction can start to think:
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“If I have been able to not drink or drug for six months now, maybe I don’t really have an addiction.”
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“Maybe I was just under a lot of stress and that’s why I was using too much.”
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“I think I could go back to social drinking and occasional marijuana, coke or meth at parties without a problem.”
That’s where the wisdom of “There but for the grace of God, go I” comes in:
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I have seen patients who have established some length of abstinence or sobriety cut short their progress by “stinking thinking” and slide back into the Contemplation stage of change (ambivalence).
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By going to a recovery meeting, whether 12-Step, SMART Recovery or some other mutual help meeting, they hear the story of a peer who acted on their ambivalence and fell back into the depths of despair again.
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That person’s tragic story hits the mark to jolt them back into recommitting to their own recovery, “There but for the grace of God, go I.”
AA slogan 4: “One day at a time”
When people first enter treatment, especially young people, the idea that they can never again use alcohol or other drugs can be a barrier to accepting a diagnosis of addiction and embracing treatment. In addition, even if a person accepts the need for treatment, the day-to-day process of recovery can be challenged by intense cravings to use, self-doubts about success, and impatience to get out of treatment or to be “cured.”
That’s where the wisdom of “one day at a time” comes in:
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To the person who struggles with the idea of abstinence, you can say: “Let’s not worry right now about whether you have to do this for the rest of your life. Let’s just see what one day of not using is like and see what you can learn from that – good or bad.”
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To the person who is craving intensely, you can say: “See if you can abstain just for today. Or if that feels like too much, let’s try not using for half a day; or a quarter of a day; or two hours or one hour. If that works, then let’s try for the next hour and see what happens.” Nothing succeeds like success.
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Recovery is a process of one day at a time, not an event of one perfect treatment experience or one successful period of sobriety.
AA Slogan 5: “Keep coming back”
Most people with diabetes, hypertension, rheumatoid arthritis, anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder etc. don’t stop treatment thinking they are cured. Effective addiction treatment and recovery can result in a level of function that is not just back to baseline, but actually reaches levels even better than before.
Or before a person achieves good recovery, the treatment and daily work to achieve abstinence can feel overwhelming and awaken ambivalence to drop out of treatment.
That’s where the wisdom of “Keep coming back” comes in:
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If people with any ongoing illness stopped seeing their health care provider and stopped coming back to their medication, well-being practices and care, recovery wouldn’t happen.
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Addiction recovery promises an outcome of “Better than well” if people keep coming back to AA or other mutual help meetings, or keep coming back to whatever reminds them to stay focused on addiction treatment and recovery.
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For people with addiction it may require ongoing medication just like other ongoing illnesses. Or “Keep coming back” may refer to meetings, support groups, recovery friends, prosocial community activities, or whatever reminds them to “remember when” addiction hijacked their well-being.
Read the entire September blog on David Mee-Lee's Tips & Topics here →
Authored by Dr. David Mee-Lee, “Tips & Topics” is a monthly blog covering three sections: Savvy, Skills and Soul, with additional sections varying from month to month. Topics include Stump the Shrink, Success Stories and Shameless Selling.
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